There are a few defining moments in a relationship but, before any of those, you have to actually define the relationship — that big conversation that asks where you two are going, what you want, and all that other fun stuff. Even though it’s such a significant conversation, it’s not always easy to have.
That’s why Match and hello products dubbed October 2 the official DTR Day — the perfect opportunity to finally have that “where is this going?” conversation. “It’s often difficult to DTR — the initiation of that conversation can feel awkward and induce anxiety,” Match dating expert Rachel DeAlto tells Bustle. “Creating a DTR day is really a conversation starter!”
Having the DTR talk is a bit like pulling off a Band-Aid — starting the conversation is the toughest part. And, often, you’ll both feel better once it happens. “Broaching the topic is often the hardest part!” DeAlto says. “The rules of dating have changed, but our desire for companionship hasn’t. I often work with people that are very frustrated that they don’t know where their relationships are headed — men and women. DTR is an important step.” But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. How do you know if it’s time to DTR? And how do you go about it? Here’s what the experts want you to know.
2You Might Need To Get Vulnerable
If you’re going to be open about what the relationship means and where it’s going, things can get pretty raw emotionally. “People are increasingly terrified to have the relationship conversation because vulnerability is scary,” Nicole Richardson, LPC-S, LMFT, tells Bustle. “In the digital age, it is becoming increasingly difficult to be open, sincere and vulnerable. We don’t want to put ourselves out there unless we are sure the other person will reciprocate our feelings.” But to DTR, you need to be willing to put yourself out there.